Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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