Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
