Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can I color on your dick again?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize