On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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