He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
