My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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