"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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