Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just pee around me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
that may or may not have been my penis.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
