Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
