i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
