3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need water and some morals
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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