come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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