Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize