Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
...so i touched it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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