please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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