So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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