I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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