Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
MIDGETS
????
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
