There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
