I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize