I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
