this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
