Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
