At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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