i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
