Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize