apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
