when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
