Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you win again, gameday.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
