THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
