her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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