Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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