Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize