saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
