Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
