Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
