dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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