Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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