help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
