Kareoke will never be a sober sport
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
