I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
