mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
