that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize