how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
