Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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