Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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