I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
