I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
