you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
