wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Too much gin, very little bucket
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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