My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize