Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
