apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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