My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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