her vagine was all disorganized.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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