Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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