i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
