Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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