I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
