i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
